Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Is that sausage?

It's hard for me to describe where in my head this image came from. As I've noted elsewhere on this blog, I'm experiencing a major mid-life crisis. Sometimes, I wish I could've just bought a little red sports car and be done with it. Instead, however, the universe has asked me to turn myself inside out, scour my insides with steel wool, and then hang myself out to cure for a while.

When the universe speaks, I try to listen. This blob of stuff is how I see myself being in the world for the past several years. It kinda looks like intestines or sausage to me - I'm a Psychologist but I have NO idea how to interpret this form. Feel free to project your own interpretation and share. The essence I was trying to capture was a feeling of not having a clear form; not having a core around which this "stuff" could wrap and take shape. My career, relationships, day to day life provided a structure. At times, I would lock onto the closest shape and wrap myself around it because that's less scary. Now I'm wanting to find that core internally.

I know it's quite a luxury to be able to spend all this time navel gazing when some are working their fingers to the bone just to put food on the table or trying to survive in a combat zone. My hope is that the form I'm able to take will allow me to add something of use to this world. I will likely continue to sketch the process to see what takes shape. I'm kind of interested in what will happen next.


  1. When I saw this in class I thought it looked like a pile of panty hose, like for a dance or a dressing up. Not sure what that means for your navel gazing, but I always appreciate someone else's perspective on images that are captured from self-reflection.

  2. That's funny, Josh! Hadn't thought of that. Maybe I'm freeing myself from the constraints of those things. Have you ever tried on a pair of pantyhose? Very, very uncomfortable -- at least for those of us who have a curve here and there. I'm so glad women don't wear these much any more. Thanks for sharing!